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August 16, 2012

It's been nearly two weeks since any significant "work" was done on the fence. It has rained a lot lately and I can only assume fence building in light to moderate rain is far too dangerous for our brave civic workers (in the fence-building community, rain is apparently akin to running with scissors -- it's only fun until you fall down or, in this case, get damp).

I should note, however, that someone (hoodlums, or ruffians, no doubt) again spray painted the gas and hydro "locates" on the sidewalk and on my grass. This is the fourth or fifth time they've done this since taking up this epic construction endeavour many months ago.

Sadly, no one tends to show up to do any sort of follow-up fence building for weeks after their brightly-coloured locates are laid down.

So, between me mowing away the lines from grass and the rain washing said paint from the sidewalk, by time they do show up to do something (other than flirt with my wife when she takes the boy for a walk), their lines are gone. Upon finding their locates gone, their pattern has been to then throw up their hands in astonishment and leave. I can only assume they then call for another crack team of civic workers to come and, once again, re-paint the locates and.... well, I assume you can figure out what happens next.

The City of Vaughan: Canada's, no the WORLD's, shining beacon of hope and wisdom.

August 28, 2012

It has been a month since anyone representing the City of Vaughan has done anything of substance on the fence (Note: Some dude marching over to spray paint locates shall henceforth be considered "not doing something").

That being said, much has happened elsewhere during the past month:

Of course, you will no doubt appreciate that none of the above-mentioned events have anything to do with finishing partially-completed city fences.

For those interested, I have included a pic of the fence, in all it's unfinished fence-y glory. You will notice that the locates are still visible on the sidewalk, but have long been mowed from the grass. I expect that dude with the spray paint to show up again soon....

...Bopping around to "I am the Walrus", no doubt.
Koo koo ka choo!

August 28, 2012

Megan just passed along the exciting news that a city-owned/operated bulldozer has begun landscaping the area beside my home -- mere hours after I chided the city in my latest post for its inaction!

While some -- hippies mainly -- would argue that this is just coincidence, and that the city had likely for weeks targeted this date for landscaping regardless of what I wrote, I would suggest instead that my words and actions are being watched as... well, what else could it be? Clearly, my carefully crafted and deftly delivered updates have the savants at City Hall on edge.

[Must start using new-found powers for evil, instead of good]

So, while leveling the land adjoining my house does nothing, in and of itself, to actually complete my beloved, and eagerly anticipated fence, progress of any sort must be applauded.

Assuming they are able to finish this today [snicker], they are well on their way to completing the fence and planting a new crop of trees and bushes by time Owen starts kindergarten in three years.

No word as to whether the individual operating the 'dozer has hummed, "I am the eggman"...



September 10, 2011

There are days when reality is so surreal it goes beyond simply suspending disbelieve to accept it. Today is one such day.

I am off from work this week. Meg's family is in town and I thought it a good idea to spend some time with our out-of-town visitors. This proved an eventful stroke of luck as I woke this morning to find a couple Vaughan civic workers outside, inspecting the fence-y bits.

Buddy #1 had a measuring tape and a can of spray paint. Buddy #2 had an iPad. Being the crack team of professionals that they are, my initial thought was that #1 was reapplying the Locates while #2 was playing Angry Birds. I stood stone faced at the window — sorta lording over them so they knew that I knew that they knew that I was there.

I watched closely as #1 measured the distance between the side of the house and a couple posts. He made a couple marks on the grass and that was it. Seeing as how they were only on there for only a couple minutes, I then sprinted to the garage to ensure they hadn't the opportunity to plant any more crickets. (NOTE: I killed Jiminy over the weekend but his noisy accomplice is still eluding capture.) Instead of engaging in any covert cricket insertions, #1 and #2 returned to their pickup and sat there -- content on a hard day's work.

Fed up with their constant delays, Meg made her way over to the side of their vehicle and asked #2 when he thought the fence would be done.


Apparently, the fence along the side of my house was installed in the wrong spots.


So, two-thirds of a year after starting the fence, I today learned that they shall need to dig up each post, dig new holes, and commence the task of constructing it all over again.

I had wondered recently if I hadn't been too hard on these guys. After all, I can only assume these guys have many different locates to paint and I'm sure it's a lot harder than it looks. They likely return home to their families each night with orange hands and, let's face it, they have to deal with guys like me writing about their epic-ness.

Sometimes, you just can't make this stuff up.

September 17, 2012